m-m-mmorals

i cant help but wonder. tomorrow is our final presentation for moral studies. my team and i are working on same sex marriages as the topic of our presentation…me..i got ahead of the research as well as Joanne. i like doing things myself frankly. cause sometimes people don't know what they’re doing and they do it for the sake of passing it up.

but here i am, doing all the work and no one has even contacted me to ask for progress or to see it so they could prepare for tomorrow…well except Joanne(+ Bariga, cause they're attached).

what if i forgot…..i wonder what excuse they could pull of tomorrow…hmm.

but my-lord. research hasn't been thaaaaat tough….. :)

if you know what i mean..

sorry Salam :P

blog ni tukar jadi fan page Yuna je la.

after posting my last post and feeling incredibly gay about Yuna’s upcoming album, i went on a date with Salam, who happens to be back for a week :)

anyway, on that date, we decided to also watch a movie. so we went to The Gardens where i coincidentally bumped into…YUNA!!

now let me start by explaining to you what an utter buffoon i was. i was so shy and giggly…and Salam had to ask her if i could take a picture with her. but i was so scared and excited. and i literally smiled to myself all the way back home.

of course after that you just feel like a complete idiot. and Salam doesn’t seem to understand my ‘relationship’ with Yuna. so to speak.hahaha.

sigh…i can be so gay sometimes. its not even funny.

i’ll post the picture up when i get it. definito *sick smile*

but other than that. reality has been pretty messed up i would say. although Salam’s been a charm, my mum has been a cat with claws dug deep into my back. my dad had a relapse. its back to chemo for him tomorrow. mum is also getting an operation this week. don’t know what for. tried to ask but she was being too bitchy for me to pry.

and then its school school school. but yet i stay inspired…and somehow sane and satisfied..how ah? and I've yet to figure out the rubrics cube without cheating.

so many things going on. and I've been feeling really private lately. despite this blog proving otherwise. i completely enjoy the idea tht i have a fingerful of friends i am close to and i can deeply trust and a man who gives me all the slapping and support i lack.

life is so weird guys. so weird. i miss my mum. (when she doesn’t shout)

yunalis zarai

Album Teaser

i havent felt this way about music in a while.


its either im gay and i dont know it or i have incredibly high hopes for this one.


i dont remember feeling this excited about music since....since incubus.

i feel like I'm a piece of a chess set.

sometimes i feel like a rook/castle, like i have control on the strategies of the game. sometimes i just feel like a pawn, where my options are minimal and like I'm set out to die.

w-hole

its that time again guys.  find myself back here, lost in worlds of confusion. I've made a decision to keep this blog mostly on general updates or travel but maybe writing this will be good for me.

well.lol. I'm not gonna get into details anyway.

right now, ultimately, i feel that I'm stuck in between two worlds that just fail to coexist.i want one but it doesn't feel complete without the other. if i choose the other, its just not the same as how it used to be. I'm trying to stay and ignore its shortcomings, but for how long?

i don't know if this is something i want to ignore forever. will there be regret? i want to take everyone’s advice but i could possibly destroy the most important of these two worlds.

or is it really the most important?

everything has been contradicting itself. even my wants and needs. the things i love. the people i love. i need to know what i really want. and i think for now, its best i step out of these worlds.

Leo in the Lion city

well since I'm on break for the next week, now would be perfect to go on and on and on about my last trip to Singapore two weekends ago.

i went to visit Salam of course. in his new life as a soldier. a very bald soldier :s…which was great. it was the second time i had been there since he left 6 weeks ago. the last trip was rushed though and unplanned.
i was about to snuggle in bed after coming home from class, Salam called to tell me that i could come, so i jumped on the next available bus and reached Singapore by midnight. stayed at Imran’s place and went straight to bed although i could not sleep. Salam picked me the next morning and i sent him off to Tekung island where we exchanged our goodbyes by waving. it was tragic. seriously.

but this time, Salam got out early so we got to spend more time with each other.
among the many things we did, was visit the underwater world! i know! i had a really good time there. and i even saw a dugong!which really made my day. haha.

those are jelly fishes. its way cool i tell ya. trippy beings they are.

that’s Salam, my dugong posing with Gracie the dugong.

then we went to dolphin lagoon to watch the pink dolphins. sigh. it was sorta magical that day. hahaha. i felt very national geographic.

this was at esplanade. it reads 'i love you.'

we went to clarke quay and i got terribly horrified that this transvestite would beat me up for giggling at her. she was sorta dancing and wiggling her ass to the people and everyone was cheering on. there were lotsa “papa jahat!!” screams..and she was actually acting all coy. i couldn’t contain myself.

phew

i also went to arab street with khaliq and janna. and bugis and orchard and yea.. it was nice. didnt feel as lonely as i did the last time.

:(

Recently i did this editorial shoot and anyone who knows me knows how I don’t like to be in front of the camera, hence my old photography habits. Well anyway, i agreed mainly because of the person who asked me. He is absolutely beautiful and my mother adores him. And well, he's now my new adopted sister. haha

Back to the point of my story, the other guy whom i did the editorial with, added me on FB and told me the picture was up on his profile. And he's another beautiful boy. (Men these days are way ahead of women.) so we were relatively nice to each other during the shoot yea. Or at least i thought. When i went to his profile to check the picture out, he referred to me as the bitch who stole his attention. i guess he forgot that he added me. But that really took me aback. i was never out rightly called a bitch like that before. And it kinda made me sad...aww.hehe

*muka sedih* i mean i don’t think I did anything wrong..:( yea i admit, he probably deserved the big pictures cause well..hehehe...he's beautiful. But its not my fault...i feel betrayed. hahaha..am i being too dramatic? Sorry la. He was so nice to me. i thought we were friends. lol. i love gay men. i don’t wanna do all these shoots anymore. For nothing an extra person in the world hates me. sigh..i'm nice guys. i swear.

just chilling

a bunch of us set out to Sungai Chilling waterfalls in Kuala Kubu Baru sometime ago... the view from our drive there was amazing. you'll see lakes everywhere..blue skies and everything. to get to the falls is a good hike that'll last you about two hours, if i remember correctly. nothing too painful but it was rather long. and you cross the strong rivers about 6 times to get there and another 6 to get back. so don't try slippers. and you'd have trouble getting you and your bags across dry. especially at the time we went, it being raining season and all. the waters were pretty hard on us.

but once you get pass the big rocks, you walk into a secluded jungle area where the strong waterfall stands tall to greet you. its beautiful and deserted. very The Beach. well to me atleast, the terrengganu boys weren't impressed.

you'll find alot of fishes struggling to get upstream. it seemed humourous at that time. we thought they were quite stupid.

nice trip.